Microwave

My name is Microwave and here are ten reasons why I am worth the $5/month

1) I am definitely not an appliance.

2) I am cute AF and have the eyes of an angel... a fallen one specifically.

3) You are probably sad and need a distraction from the constant state of pain that you are in.. you

should probably seek professional help and maybe get an SSRI but I'm an okay substitute for the price.

4) I'm cute and fluffy

5) That last point should be enough reason... I'm a cat not a Buzzfeed article, just sign up for me already

6) I have FELV (Feline Leukemia) which means you have to support my business.

7) Someone has to pay the bills around here, and it's not like my owner is gonna do that.

8)

9) ...woah, sorry I was distracted by this shiny thing that my owner DEFINITELY wants me to chew on

10) APPARENTLY I have to find a hobby that doesn't involve knocking shit off the counter